Choose your energy

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m pro oil.”  A full stop sentence by a man with a flat billed black Hat, two chains around his neck draping an amethyst crystal across his chest hair; I’m assuming for good measure.  

“How can you be pro oil and believe in climate change?” I ask, leaning forward enough that the black corn strung together by the Tiwa people of Taos Pueblo around my neck clinks the glass. He complimented the necklace just moments earlier with a tone and smile that assumed we have similar (life)styles.  These are typically the men I attract.  Until I start speaking. 

“How do you think people will get their energy during the dead of winter in Ukraine?” The Sidekick demands. 

“Have you ever lived in a place that wasn’t dependent on fossil fuels?” I pose.

“Sure, I just got back from Burning Man.”  Hat proudly states. I can almost see his chest puff and rise, like pastry in an oven. 

“Oh honey, paying thousands to trip acid with other investors in the desert for 10 days isn’t a life free of capitalism.” 

Bubble bursted. Chest deflated. Soon to rise with a comeback. “My family’s from India. So yes, I know what it’s like.”

“Then you probably know about communities in the Foothills of the Himalayas that train each other to be rural solar engineers. And the invention of the Pine Needle Gasifier in the Kumoan region that burns pine needles for electricity; the by product creates a clean burning charcoal replacement.  Pine trees blanket the foothills causing run off and depleting the ecologies natural biodiversity. Brought over by the British during colonialism, they have become an invasive species and thanks to rural communities they have come up with a win-win solution. So yes people live off renewable energy with respect to natural limits.”

“So you mean ration? You want us to ration?” Sidekick asks.

“That’s one way of looking at it, but I think of it as living with healthy limits. Do you want your children bent over to a screen all day? Would it be so bad if we had hours everyday without electronics? Systems have limits, our body included, it’s a physical law. We can choose how we relate to them. But happiness has never be exemplified by hedonism.” 

No comment.

Hat and Sidekick look to each other and begin talking as if I’m not there. 

“So what’s your number bro, we should hang some time, where do you live?”

“Totally, Tribeca, when I’m not traveling.” Puts number in iPhone. 

Mind goes to the minerals extracted from Africa for the constantly updated electronics, the Chinese government giving loans to Africa it can’t pay back for their land and resources. A new kind of debt colonialism. Devices sent to America with oil from Russia so we can watch anything, listen to everything, swipe TikTok all hours anywhere all the time while chowing down on our ribeye.  And stand here at a “Sustainable event” during Climate Change week sipping wine typing traders digits. A carbon footprint the size of all of humanity is the shadow eclipsing this conversation. Body temperature rises while they continue to disregard my presence and the Earth. 

“Do you think bitcoin is the really the way to go?”

“Completely, the blockchain economy….”

Good to meet you both. I walk away. No one notices. 

The American Dream we sold in fools gold; bite the brick and it turns to mold.  

It’s a boring race business-as-usual wants us to chase; because honestly what’s at the top is just another seemingly glamorous but sad party. Our current economy values a man’s devaluing of Life. And it breaks my heart that we’ve been telling lies.  It’s not that I live a fossil fuel free life - yet. The NYC subway isn’t powered renewably - yet.  My home though fed from a grid of regional wind power, could have solar directly on the roof that feeds not just mine but others. Every Saturday, Boots and I walk to drop off compost and pick up our farm share. It takes a truck currently run on diesel to deliver that produce from farms upstate, but imagine it run on biodiesel, imagine more community gardens growing enough yield to feed it’s immediate neighbors. The train or plane I take to see my niece and nephew uses oil and gas, but Tokyo already has trains powered by a microgrid of geothermal, hydro, solar and wind. Trains in India and London are solar powered.  It’s not not possible.  It’s already here. 

I read something this morning, “the secret to being happy in life is to choose what you have”, wisdom from Katherine Woodward Thomas.  I often can’t even choose what to order on a menu and ask the server to surprise me. Didn’t choose a clear career track.  Have a track record of dating unavailable men. But I choose to turn my phone off every night, leave it in the other room, not watch the news, grant myself solitude to cry a little most every day both in joy and grief, cuddle with my Alaskan malamute/husky as a gateway to all wild animals, stand in front of a class of 19 year olds debating renewable vs transitional energy, and live in a state of Active Hope.  

Years ago I was that annoying person canvassing renewable energy with a Green Mountain Energy vest and clipboard on the corner of 14th and 8th. It took embodying the embarrassment of asking people to choose us, when I realized we DO in fact have choice. To choose our energy. 

Photo: Climate Change Protest, Washington Sq Park